Diary of a provincial lady

2024 Author: James Gerald | [email protected]. Last modified: 2023-12-17 14:00

First record

Oh, I went to the boutique just now. I never saw what it was and what they were eating with. Exclusive goods say. I think I can buy some inhuman sausages. And at the entrance they explain to me that we have things here, a woman …

No, you think, huh? How long they lived … I, Asya Boom (after Bumagamarakin's mother), call me a woman. Yes, I'm a beautiful girl, long braid …

Well, just think, my breasts are unique in size (after all, I will furnish Pamela Andersen in the competition for a large bust in two seconds). Well, okay, everything on me is my weapon. I pressed the guard to the door with my dignity and whispered in his ear, kindly like this:"

Here, the attitude to me is immediately specific, that is, with respect they offered to leave the string bags at the entrance. And I have a can of stewed meat there, two packs of pasta, and a loaf of rye, plus a banana for my daughter, a pack of Prima for my husband, in a word, a daytime exercise. Uprut, you bastards, I see it in their narrowed eyes. I say: "Thank you for the offer, but I'm calmer with them in your Kalashnyi ranks!"

But they didn’t leave me alone. I walk, it means, I stare at the labels, I only have time to faint. I lay down like this once again in front of a fur coat in 25,000 cu. I'm lying to myself so tragic. Their girl comes up and says: "Ooty, what a beautiful and fashionable handkerchief we have, where did you buy it, share a secret!"

I immediately felt that something was wrong. I say: "My aunt brought me from Orenburg! An ordinary Orenburg shawl." She would pull her dimly handled hands, and I ran and started running. I barely dragged my legs away.

And that's what I, girls, think … For a fig, 25,000 USD. spend on a fur coat? I don't have that kind of money. I have only 24,999 USD hidden in my stocking. But I won't spend it on white karakul with a chiffon lining. Only on black …

Second entry

Why don't people hibernate? At least two months? Now is the perfect time for hibernation. Because there is no life. Well, judge for yourself: two tablets of "Ascorbic acid" a day must be eaten, so that you do not get sick with the flu during an epidemic, you must suck the tablet "Glycine" under your tongue so that your nerves are not naughty because yesterday you forgot to eat two tablets of the hated already "Ascorbinki". At least 20 deep breaths a day so that oxygen enters the body and the brain works normally. Make sure you eat breakfast in the morning, because research has shown that people who eat in the morning are less prone to depression and stress than those who skip breakfast. Morning food also improves mood and memory. And you certainly can't forget to flirt (this revitalizes everyday gray life, psychologists say) and be sure to dance (also, according to experts, helps to improve mood). And that is not all. Be sure to crack three times a week (maybe more), but have sex (burns calories, normalizes cholesterol levels, raises vitality, and so on), then beat a pillow once a day to relieve nervous tension and take out natural aggression, etc. etc., etc. AND IS THIS LIFE?

Oh, these periods of vitamin deficiency. I would snore now day and night, put a bed next to the refrigerator so as not to get up and stick my nose into this world of endless stress, depression and extra calories. How else to deal with all this?

Olga, an old friend of mine, began to study yoga. He says, they say, not only physical health, but also psychological balance, and so that it does not seem a little, also spiritual perfection. Here, on occasion, I had to stay at her house for two days. So my head could not get used to a normal position for a week, or even more, because in order to talk to a friend, I had to constantly turn my head. She almost immediately gets up in sirshasana (this is such a yoga headstand). Children went to school, oops, and on the head.

I was standing, talking to her in the kitchen, turning to the saucepan with boiling cabbage soup, I heard her voice behind me, suddenly fell silent. I turned around and almost got into the pot of cabbage soup with fear. Where Olga's head was, now two bare heels are looking at me. With a blind eye, you can't tell right away that she is in sirshasan.

Her husband calls in the evening, says, dear, the salary is delayed, he had a fight with the boss, the mood is not to hell. Olenka, without hesitation, not to strain her nervous system, wrote on the refrigerators in black marker: "She went into a uniform. Dinner on the stove." And, both on, in sirshasana. I was already at the limit with a dislocated head, lying on my left shoulder, to the nearest pharmacy, somehow, swinging, drowned.

Maybe, really, do yoga?.. Go to Kuzka's mother in a single unit. For there is no life here yet, and the one that is, is it really life? How can? The crises are endless, the stresses are evil, the weather, as in the joke about the shitty summer. Dirt, drivers yelling, honking, hysterics from one or the other employee, just have time to weather the smell of carvalol. How to live? But you must …

Well, I got excited again. A quick pill "Glycine" under the tongue, twenty deep breaths, quick sex and in bed, under the covers, read a newspaper at night, because scientists have proven that reading perfectly relieves the stress of the past day and helps to fall asleep.

Until the warmth, you see, we will hold out.

Continuation…