Real life - backing track

2024 Author: James Gerald | [email protected]. Last modified: 2023-12-17 14:00

What real life? It all starts early (exactly as you read it). Alarm clock first. So that I, an owl, get up at 6 in the morning, I set three alarms throughout the apartment: one louder than the other. If they don't wake me up, then the neighbors, who are just fed up with the ringing early in the morning, will do it. I wake up anyway. I gather like a sleepy chicken, which, in general, I am in the morning. It's like in that joke, when they raised something, but forgot to wake it up.

For the remaining half an hour, you need: have breakfast (if not yourself, then feed your husband is mandatory), walk the dog (it's good that I manage to combine this walk with a morning run), have time to take a bath (at one fine moment, the water can simply be turned off), bring marafet (I don’t want all the oncoming minibuses to shy away from me) and the most responsible thing is to go to the mirror (while not being afraid of what I’ll see there), say: “Today you are simply charming, the most charming and attractive. I love you.” … And no "buts", in spite of the fact that … Start listing how to drink to give get nervous and will not go to work. I don't think the chef will be thrilled with all of this.

So come out

If on the way to the stop, the lightning on your dress did not break, the heel did not fall off and, to top it all off, the flying bird did not make you happy with its own, I don’t even know how to say it more decently (in a word, this is not a Milky Way, but it also doesn’t sink in water and is not washed), then consider that the day started well.

Tongue on my shoulder ran to the stop. You shouldn't even pay attention to the fact that the bus has left. In some 15-20 minutes the next one will come. I'm definitely late. I try to console myself with the fact that now it doesn't matter how much the ill-fated minibus fits. You cannot stand in it (you will straighten up, you will demolish the roof), to sit - everything is already occupied, it is somehow not accepted to lie down, so you have to go, bending over into three deaths. The driver is apparently a former racer. I understand, if I were at sea, from such a storm I would have been turned out all over long ago. It's good that there is simply nothing in the morning.

There she is real life: finally I got to work. I pretend to be a hanger, I try not to shine, I make my way to the place. And there the chef is already waiting. Only the cut on the dress saves from brainwashing. Do not think anything bad, in the morning it was an ordinary cut, just when I was carried out of the minibus, someone stepped on me.

The chef, apparently, did not really wake up either, so he stood with his eyes fixed on one point, while always saying: Adorable! Nice …

And now the working day begins:

Computer, printer, pager, telephone and conversations, conversations, conversations. And so you want to quietly curl up and fall asleep. But this is all from the realm of fantasy. Finally, the coveted 5 pm. I don't want to sleep anymore. However, I don't want anything at all. But it's still early home, a colleague at work has a birthday. It should be noted, at least purely symbolically. And again these long, unnecessary conversations.

For the whole working week I was so tired that I don't even want any holiday anymore. With the hope that tomorrow is a day off, I go home. Yes, so that no one interferes in the morning, it is necessary to turn off door and telephone calls in the evening, and deprive the pager of the batteries. Until 12 o'clock I will not be for the whole world.

5 minutes walk to the house, but not a step without adventures. Ahead of the law enforcement officers: one barricaded himself in the car, the other went out to reconnaissance, and right at me, but did not have time to reach, he stumbled over some homeless person, peacefully resting under a flower bed. And here comes this form on me, and I'm on autopilot: a step to the right, a step to the left, I just get lost, and asks: "Citizen, have you seen anything suspicious?" I've seen so much in my life! But at that moment, the homeless person, who turned out to be a real homeless woman in the voice, showed signs of life. And the cop, who was inspired by the advertisement that the tanks are not afraid of dirt, went to her. And I go on quietly.

I passed all the open hatches and a couple of sills by a plus. And at this very moment, when I think that everything is over, I fall into some kind of ditch. This is where my smooth ascent ends. After landing, I gather my thoughts and somehow get out. Thank God, it's already dark and my extravagant appearance does not shock anyone.

Finally, my entrance. My floor. And I didn't even recognize my door right away. There is a pogrom all around, broken glass, scattered rugs, an electric shield broken, iron uprooted and crumpled. Someone was clearly flexing their biceps. At home I was told that the police had already been called (probably those whom I met along the way), and I fell asleep safely.

But I was really scared in the morning. Has it ever happened to you: at one point you realize that you are going crazy. This was exactly the feeling I had, because in the morning everything on the staircase was washed, swept out, the shield was put in place. Only the dents on the iron saved me from insanity. Someone, either at night or in the morning, tried to hide the traces of their rampage.

Day after day the same thing, here it is - real life, and I thought, it's good that this week is coming to its logical conclusion. Although, no! Sunday is still ahead, and you never know what might happen.