Well, who said it was bad to be just a friend?

2024 Author: James Gerald | [email protected]. Last modified: 2023-12-17 14:00

I truly believe in friendship between the sexes. All my friends were exclusively male, and this did not mean at all that I could not find a common language with women, that there were no common interests and similar things. It was just that it was easier and more interesting for me: men are more reliable, less talkative, relationships are durable, and communication is more interesting. After all, it is always nice to know the "purely male opinion" about a particular event. And winning the heart of almost any man took me only a few minutes - after all, I was always aware of all the "control levers", the right words and gestures that the stronger sex likes so much. By the way, I want to make a reservation right away, I'm not talking about men with a homosexual orientation. For some reason I have always met male friends, heterosexuals, although I have never paid or accentuated attention to this issue. It so happened!

My friend Masha has a friend Sasha. “We have known each other for almost 4 years. Nice young man, a little older than me. I never looked at him as a potential sexual partner, loved one or future faithful spouse. From the very beginning, our relationship developed as a "friendship between different sexes." For me, he was just Sasha, who will always come to the rescue, will be there in difficult times. We shared all the joys, successes and failures. We had incredibly fun together: we were not deprived of a sense of humor, we laughed and made fun of each other in any, even the most difficult, situation. We were often seen together, all our common acquaintances and friends have long been accustomed to the peculiar pair "Sasha + Masha". To be honest, it never crossed my mind that Sashka had any other feelings for me, besides friendly ones. Yes, he often confessed his love to me, but it always looked like nothing more than just another joke. Yes, he congratulated and gave flowers for all sorts of holidays and remembered all important dates. Perhaps someone in my place would have long suspected at least something, but not me …

Over time, our friendship grew into something more, at first our "ordinary" meetings took on a touch of dating. Then, being together at the same party, we kissed, not at all friendly. A closer relationship developed. We were nicknamed "perfect couple" and "not spill water". We really felt very comfortable, cozy and good together. But one day I met another man.

He began to look after me very persistently and beautifully, everything was different, in an adult way, or something … A romance began. The words “let's stay friends” sounded from my lips to Sasha almost immediately, as soon as I realized that some serious relationship had arisen between me and my new man. But once, when I was very lonely, when I had a falling out with a new man, I remembered Sasha's words: "You can always count on my help, attention and participation." It turned out that they were not empty words thrown to the wind - everything that was said then was absolutely true. Now no one from our common circle of acquaintances can even imagine that we have not communicated for some time. He always comes to the rescue at the right moment, helps with advice and deeds. I, in turn, is also always ready to take part in solving many controversial issues, to advise and support something. To this day, we communicate very closely, but still that period of our unfriendly relations left a certain mark on the lives of both. I don't think it was worth even trying to turn from an “ideal friendly couple” to a love one.”

It is difficult to look at this history and situation unambiguously. You may think that there is no smell of friendship here, or remember a similar situation from your own life, because each of us probably had it, just someone was able to overcome other feelings and "remain just friends", but someone did not … You may also think that a woman simply used a man for her own purposes, that she is used to his company, support and help, that it is easier for her.

Former lovers and lovers often make great friends. Perhaps he is already married, has a couple of cute kids, but, as they say, old love does not rust. A woman knows that a friend will never refuse, listen and console.

From my own observations, I have identified several possible options for friendship between a man and a woman. Of course, you can agree or argue, but how many people, so many opinions. Moreover, many do not believe in female friendship either!

So, "She is like a sister to me" … When a man makes acquaintance with a woman with masculine qualities and a strong character, which this man lacks so much, he begins to be friends with her. A man looks at a woman as an older sister, a comrade who can guide him on the right path. He, in turn, gives the woman a kind of power over herself, which we often lack. It is easy and pleasant to be friends with such a man. He will never betray, humiliate, he will always stand behind you as a mountain. But such a relationship can get bored very quickly. Nobody is safe from this! Naturally, the opposite situation “he is like a brother to me” is also quite probable. And this kind of friendship can also be viewed as an opportunity to “talk to her (him) about THEM,” that is, about each other's sexual partners.

Family friend … Your families have been friends for many, many years. Shared family memories, mothers who drove you in strollers nearby, a shared kindergarten, one school for two, etc. You simply cannot imagine life without each other, it somehow goes without saying. Perhaps your parents once dreamed of your wedding, common children and one surname. But … not destiny! You realized that you were not made for each other at all. And it's better not even to make any attempts - you know each other too well. Ideal for friendship! Of course, provided that even when you have already grown up, you still agree on many issues, are interesting to each other and you have something to talk about.

Personally, I have just such a friend. Our parents studied at the same school, and when they parted ways and they each started their own family, they decided that it would be just wonderful if the children got married: fortunately, I was born to my parents, and a son to another family. Everyone believed that Igor and I were just an ideal couple, he is 3 years older, we have been brought up together since childhood, etc. Even in childhood, we ourselves were thinking about some kind of relationship, if it could be called that, there was even a short one " children's "novel: he constantly brought me candy, and I gave him inserts with pictures of cars. Igor already then said that when we grow up, we will definitely get married. But, having matured a little, both realized that to create a family, you need more than just knowing each other from childhood. And having fallen in love, they completely forgot about such thoughts. Now we do not communicate as often as we used to. We each have a job, friends, lovers, and interests. But we still do not forget each other, often call each other, correspond and sometimes meet. If any of us have problems, we are ready to give up everything just to help. I really consider Igor my friend.

Business cooperation … Rather, it is not friendship, but some kind of mutually beneficial communication. Often it is this communication that develops into a real friendship. After all, business and money issues very often overlap. Although it is difficult to say unequivocally that such a relationship is really friendship. It is different for different people. It all depends on the people themselves, characters and outlook on life. Money and business can both make two people friends and make them enemies. After all, they say that in the friendship of two people, one is always the leader, the other is the follower.

To be honest, I sincerely believed and still believe in friendship between the sexes. Although she herself is sometimes overcome by multiple controversies on this issue. Many will probably argue with me, but in my life there are many examples of such relationships. It all depends on the people themselves and the relationship to each other.

It often happens that the friendship between a man and a woman preceded by a closer relationship … For example, the situation between former spouses. My friends Leonid and Anna were a wonderful married couple. They had a daughter. But soon their relationship reached an impasse, and by mutual agreement a divorce followed. At first, they were tied only by their daughter. On weekends, Leonid always took her to his place and spent all his free time with her. After some time, all the grievances and claims that arose between them before were forgotten. They became not just former spouses, but good friends. Leonid is always ready to nail a shelf or just come to drink tea in the company of his ex-wife. And Anna, as soon as the opportunity arises, invites her ex-husband to the theater or cinema.

You can describe any number of such situations. I think that in the life of each of us there are living examples confirming the existence of this most mysterious friendship between a man and a woman. Of course, this kind of friendship has its pros and cons. But still, how wonderful it is to realize that you have a man - a real friend. The main thing is that if you have already found such a person, do not lose him! Appreciate and respect!