Why we stumble on the career ladder

2024 Author: James Gerald | [email protected]. Last modified: 2023-12-17 14:00

"Maybe she got a promotion for some naughty services to the boss? And that newly-made head of the department is just the son of our general. Everything is clear: my boss is a tyrant and an ungrateful blind man! I literally burned out at work! I stayed overtime, did everything. for myself and for "that guy", colleagues adore me, no conflicts, and he himself smiled at me … And the stars on the shoulder straps again went to that self-confident upstart. Why ?!"

Reasons, or where the legs grow from

A very famous and respected writer flaunted in front of the public for a long time, talking about his own creative achievements. But the conversation touched on the role of women in the life of a cult author. The wife, according to the writer, completely freed him from everyday routine, allowing him to plunge into the world of creativity. And at the same time she sacrificed her own dizzying career. "This is how our world works, you have to pay for everything!" - the master remarked philosophically. He agrees to pay with his wife's career for his own professional success.

For many women, this is the norm, because we were raised that way. We are obliged to be understanding and forgiving, to devote ourselves to someone, the highest catharsis is to renounce our own interests. Things have changed in the modern world. We see women gaining higher and higher careers. Let us recall at least Segolene Royal. It is she who is the main contender in the presidential elections in France in April 2007. Or Vlasta Parkanov, who recently became the Minister of Defense of the Czech Republic. But they have it. In our genetic memory, patriarchal cultural traditions are firmly entrenched. This manifests itself not only in personal but also in professional life. Unfortunately, such a legacy, absorbed with mother's milk, does not contribute to career growth.

Expectant passivity

A friend of mine has been sitting at her workplace for years, carefully fulfilling her professional duties. When the vacancy of a department head loomed on the horizon, she had no doubt that she would be appointed. Whom else? She knows all the subtleties, is diligent, devoted to the company. But they took a man "from the street" to this place.

Quote from a classic that you don't need to ask for anything, they will come themselves and give everything, it does not work on the path of career growth

And the fact is that she never came up with a question about her appointment. The boss was fully confident that the place she was occupying was quite satisfactory. In time, asking a question about the upcoming promotion, she would find out the range of new responsibilities, and she would simply make it clear to the management that she is applying for this position. What kind of leader would think of appointing a person as his boss who, with his own shyness, cannot cope?

We want to remain "good girls". After all, we were taught that we must be tactful, not shout out from the place. And so we are silent, believing that everyone should guess. We play by someone else's rules, instead of trying to establish our own.

Be clear about your requirements and communicate to management what efforts you are willing to put in to implement these plans.

Incorrect speech and gestures

"Ivan Ivanovich … I'm here … (shaking my hair). It seems to me that … (nervously fiddling with a button on a blouse). We have there, you know … (examining the socks of my shoes). In general, I thought, what would be better … (drawling words, voice trembling) ".

The way you speak and your gestures tell more about you than your words. Naturally, we receive appropriate responses to our signals. For passivity and embarrassment, you will receive distrust and pity, at best - paternal care. Should such feelings be caused by a person claiming the reins of government?

"Ivan Ivanovich, (in a languid voice, running my finger along the neckline) I have long wanted to tell you (with a wave of my lush mane) that our accounting system (slowly throwing one leg over the other) …"

What ideas will his masculinity whisper to your boss as a result of such signals? The offer will be received, but somewhat different from what you expect. Flirting in the workplace is generally not worth it. You want to be perceived as an equal business partner!

Cleo has already talked about some of the intricacies of communicating with the boss, here are a few more. Pretense, excessive sexuality, defenselessness and passivity are in no way associated with the image of a business person who is able to solve a problem on his own. They also give out a voice trembling with excitement, drooping shoulders, giggling out of place, obsessive movements, playful or guilty smiles, an abundance of apologies, introductory words and introductions.

Weakness and helplessness will demonstrate "careful" speech constructions "I will try to do this", "could you …", "it seemed to me", "I did not quite understand", "maybe", "as it were."

“We offer too many options for answering the question,” explains psychologist-consultant Ekaterina Gorshkova. “Naturally, the opponent chooses the one that is beneficial to him. But even better:“I’m like the head of the department.”And who is the real boss then?” I'm trying to work on a project. "Are you trying? And who is really working on it? Women constantly apologize - thereby they want to show their politeness. And they show - helplessness and lack of confidence in their competence. Try to play with phrases, choosing" strong "options. For example, instead of “I didn’t understand the task,” it’s better to say “I need to clarify some points.” You don’t need to discredit yourself. A professional image is created from such “little things”.

Before talking with your boss, identify the main idea. Start with her. If you need details, you will be asked about them. During a conversation, the posture should be open, the gaze should be direct, the statements should be unambiguous and short.

Showing emotions is the key to failure

Emotional we - who can argue? It is unlikely that your career will benefit if every displeased glance or remark addressed to you is accompanied by tears. Restraint and objectivity will show that you make informed decisions in any situation.

It is not a fact that an emotional person is not logical, but that is how he is seen by others

Attention, manipulation! Nice smile of the boss, diminutive suffixes in circulation, gentle intonation. But for some reason they don't raise your salary … "But how pleasant it is in my heart!" Why raise if you like everything? A cunning boss will play on your feelings of gratitude, guilt or corporate patriotism: "We have entered your position, allocated the warmest office, and you still demand an increase in your salary ?!" Or: "What a promotion! You made a mistake in your report two years ago!"

We tend to think out, fill other people's phrases with some meaning. You should not fall into demonstrative despondency on the basis of your own misinterpretation of the boss's words. And if you come up and ask directly about the reason for your seeming indignation? Maybe there was no indignation? Or the reason is not you.

Do not allow your feelings to be manipulated. If you do your job well, it should be adequately encouraged. And no attachments or past miscalculations should affect this.

Another reason to hide your emotional vulnerability is to keep private conversations to a minimum. What to say and to whom, Cleo has already told. And do not take criticism and comments as an insult.

Not every job is good

We had two friends, Anya and Olya. We worked tirelessly. Anya did everything, no matter who asked. With Olya it was more difficult. She will complete some tasks, in addition to her immediate duties, with all her heart, and some … In a word, if it was necessary to put boring work on someone's shoulders, we always went to Anya. Olya could refuse. Imagine our surprise when it was the intractable Olya who went for the promotion!

Unskilled labor takes the same time, but with significantly lower efficiency

And the reason is simple. Olya took only the job that raised her qualifications. Anyone who is not burdened with a diploma can also copy documents for hours or spend the whole day on the phone in search of one number. This was her credo. As it turned out, it was justified.

Do not give up the tasks that you are assigned. But on condition that they expand the scope of your activity or improve your qualifications.

I want everyone to like it

A colleague has a falling out with his wife, and he is not in the mood to stand at the copier all day. The roommate in the office should run to the hairdresser in the afternoon - she has a date in the evening. And you take on their work.

Remember how many times, while helping a colleague, you brought your own ideas into his work? I just gave it to you. And how many times did you redo poorly performed tasks for someone? And if you count the cases when you repeated: "It's better to do it yourself than to wait until he (she) learns to do it"?

We were taught to be kind. Good girls can only be like that! Kindness is always rewarded. In fairy tales, yes. And in life?

Your own job has stopped. The boss is unhappy. You have the title of a responsive person and … a very slow worker. What kind of career growth can we talk about then?

Say no. Find compelling arguments for quick and clear rejection. Make it clear to your colleagues that your work is just as important as theirs. Free up time to complete tasks in which you demonstrate to management that you are capable of more.

Power is killing the woman in me

To lead means to dominate, to suppress, and this is not characteristic of a woman! The young lady cultivated in you from the cradle is in horror! A kind of Kabanikha rises before my eyes - masculine, domineering, deprived of personal life and male attention. Have you seen such, and you are afraid of the prospect of turning into something like that?

The root of all evil is in self-doubt

Not trusting her own model of behavior (too "feminine"), such a woman copies the behavior of a male leader, trying to gain the respect of her subordinates. But what looks quite harmonious in the male performance looks like an unsuccessful parody in the female one. It is not surprising that such a lady boss has problems not only in the team, but also in her personal life.

Instead of copying masculine assertiveness and aggression, you can use the natural flexibility of the mind, feminine intuition and charm. It cannot turn out badly for you, which means that you will not lose confidence in yourself. A confident leader uses his power wisely, which earns the respect of his subordinates. As a result, you maintain your femininity and at the same time earn the recognition of the collective. It's not so bad to be the boss, and Cleo will always help you.

To be or not to be

We are all different, with different ideas about success. And, choosing your own path, keep in mind: you will never be good for everyone, even if you remain in your usual position for years. There will always be someone to whom you are unpleasant. As long as you build a career, you will always be a "bitch" for someone. For someone … For the majority, however, she is just a successful woman.