The man is a womanizer

2024 Author: James Gerald | [email protected]. Last modified: 2023-12-17 14:00

Can Don Juan conquer everyone? What a childishness!

In fact, he simply is not able to refuse a single one.

Tadeusz Boy-Zelenski

In the female environment, the attitude towards womanizers is unambiguously negative, and this is understandable. The womanizer is dangerous for his frivolity, with him it is almost impossible to feel one and only, today he talks about love to you, tomorrow - to another woman. First, he gives you minutes of happiness, and then - hours, months, sometimes even years of jealousy, despair and disappointment. In the end, after talking with a womanizer, you can start to shy away from all men, suspecting that every new acquaintance in your life is "the same as everyone else," that is, a womanizer.

It turns out that a man - a womanizer appears to be such an insidious seducer, cynical, cruel, deceitful. And where only such individuals are raised, in what families do these bad boys grow up? At what stage of their upbringing does a "failure in the program" occur, forcing them subsequently to rush between many women all their lives, betraying everyone, but loving none?

My husband's friend, let's call him Mikhail, at first seemed to us like a guy who has no luck with women. Every time he came to visit us without a girlfriend, and by the end of the evening his eyes became sad and reproachful, as if he were saying: "You are good, you have found each other, but I am still looking for that one …"

He fell in love often, but never had a serious long-term relationship. At first, it looked as if the girls simply did not perceive him as a man. They cried into his waistcoat and talked about their bastard husbands as their best friend. True, sometimes something fell to the "girlfriend" when a slightly drunk girl, angry with her former boyfriend and a slightly drunken girl, asked Misha to accompany her home, and he, as a gallant gentleman, could not refuse.

With his upbringing, Misha also liked women much older than themselves. Ladies of Balzac's age were flattered that a young man brightens up their leisure time in a restaurant or at a concert, and they took upon themselves all material costs. For several years in a row he wrote sad poems, devoting them to an inaccessible and unapproachable girl he knew, without even thinking of breaking off his relations with either women of Balzac's age or with former classmates, pouring wine over their grief in Misha's society. All of his fleeting romances did not end, but dragged after him through life like tin cans tied to the tail of a cat, and tinkled softly. Then these cans were still few.

After graduating from the medical university, Misha was sent for an "internship" in a remote village, to work in a local hospital. Little pleasant, but nothing to do - I packed my things and moved. In the village hospital, there are just one, two, and too many men, and those who do exist drink black. And women are dark, dark, and most of them are lonely. Everyone began to fall in love with Misha: nurses, orderlies, doctors, kitchen workers, patients and even relatives who came to visit these patients.

He chose. For rough sex - an 18-year-old cook, who has already done 2 abortions (not from him!), Barely finished school and speaks exclusively with obscenities. But she is easy with her, she is cheerful and asks for a latex dress, which is sold in a sex shop in the city.

For clever conversations, Misha chose an old maid doctor, ugly, but well-groomed and slender. He liked her as a woman too, but this shy doe did not fall into the hands of our gentleman.

From time to time, Misha was visited by his old love, a classmate divorced from her husband. After her next departure, which ended in a quarrel, Misha was disappointed: she remained as selfish as she was, and did not love him a bit.

On his desk is always a stack of letters from girls from different cities. And he finds time to each of them to write an answer in small handwriting and send a piece of his soul in an envelope, but not one - his whole soul.

Misha winces when I ask him: "Listen, but is there one among them that you love the most?" “I love myself more than anyone else. But seriously - you yourself see who life throws at me!” He replies, not noticing the contradictions in his own words. On the one hand, he does not refuse anyone: neither fat nor thin, nor young, nor old, nor stupid, nor smart. She can find a zest in any woman. But, at the same time, in each of them there is a certain obstacle for him, which does not allow him to stay close for a long time. At one house it is like in a barracks, the other cooks disgustingly, the third thinks only of herself, the fourth demands too much … And - Misha goes in search of new love.

And all his past connections and cans follow him, and rumble louder, because every year their number is growing steadily.

Undoubtedly, it is better to be friends with a womanizer than to sleep. But before making a choice in favor of one or the other, it is necessary to find out to what extent the behavior and life circumstances of the man you are interested in correspond to what the long-term experience of psychologists has revealed in those who are usually called womanizers. The more coincidences, the more positives towards friendship, but not love.

1) Womanizer is an intimophobe

Intimophobia is the fear of long-term intimate relationships with the opposite sex. A womanizer cannot stop at one, even the most beautiful and intelligent woman, because he is afraid of losing freedom, becoming dependent, not interesting to other women, losing his own "I".

2) The womanizer is most often a mama's son

He was brought up without a father in a female environment, or with a father who did not have the right to vote. The mother praised and at the same time intimidated her son, reprimanding him for every mistake and convincing him that without his mother he could not do anything worthwhile in life. As an adult, the "mama's son" turns out to be untenable in solving even simple everyday problems, because the mother always did everything for him. Sometimes he tries to free himself by marrying an older woman, but this does not change the state of affairs. "Sonny" is afraid that the woman will control him in the same way as the mother, but at the same time he is not used to anything else, and does not know how to build other relationships.

3) Womanizer easily becomes "best friend"

Intuitively chooses a job that allows him to rotate in the women's team. Women's chirping, gossip, and revelations are more interesting for a womanizer than men's "he said he cut it off." He is purely feminine and always tries to avoid conflicts and smooth corners. He usually has few or no male friends.

4) A real womanizer is not a braggart

Anyone who brags about the number of conquered hearts only wants to look like a womanizer, but in fact he is not. And in general, a real man - a womanizer rarely looks like a macho, it can be a fat kind-hearted man, and a thin eternal teenager. The womanizer gives out a look, not necessarily lustful, but tenacious and in an instant "scanning" every woman she meets.

5) Sex for a womanizer is not the most important thing

The main thing is the process of conquest. The womanizer is a cross between a hunter and a collector. He falls in love no more and no less often than all other men. Most of his novels are a way of personal realization.

6) Looking for an ideal that does not exist

All the numerous novels of a womanizer are supposedly intended to select the very ideal woman, communication with whom would give physical and mental satisfaction. But each meeting ends with disappointment or, less often, indifference, or, even less often, disgust for the partner. Many womanizers lose interest in a woman the moment she succumbs to their harassment, and physical intimacy itself may become unnecessary. This is because the acuity of feelings during physical intimacy is much lower than the emotional uplift during the period of seduction. They simply cannot meet a "real woman", because they are victims of their own illusions, who will never find their mythical "true love".

7) In the past, every womanizer has a love story that serves as an excuse for his riotous life

For example, he loved a girl, and she cheated on him with a friend, and now he does not trust any woman, and does not let anyone close to him. In this sense, the ideal story is the one depicted in Autumn in New York, where Richard Gere plays the aging womanizer and Winona Ryder plays his young and terminally ill lover. The hero's friend Gere cynically remarks about this: "She is the ideal woman for you: young, beautiful, and will soon die!" And when a girl really dies (in this place the audience is crying, and I do not for a second detract from the artistic value of the film and the good acting of the actors), the aging womanizer has the best reason to never have serious relationships with women again. Although fleeting connections, undoubtedly, were present in his life more than once.

8) Getting married doesn't change anything

Sometimes, in the middle of life or in his declining years, a man - a womanizer falls into a longing for genuine, true love and for normal family relationships. It is in this state that womanizers usually marry. The womanizer is usually very affectionate towards his wife. Cheating on her, he constantly experiences a sense of guilt, which he tries to make up for with gifts, care and attention in those moments when, finally, after all the love victories, he returns home. The best wife for a womanizer can be only a woman with unshakable self-esteem, optimistic, self-confident, treated kindly by male attention, and, most importantly, who perceives her husband, first of all, as a friend, not a lover. Womanizers idolize such wives no less than their mothers.